What If?

Normally, I love me a Sunday morning. It feels oh-so-right to wake up slowly, ease myself out of bed, and stay in my pajamas until lunchtime. While I did stay in my pjs, my Sunday morning was not so enjoyable. I went to apply for my Vietnam tourist visa and discovered that Vietnam is on holiday. Like, the whole country is taking a couple weeks off to celebrate the New Year. Which, ordinarily, I am a huge proponent for celebrations and enjoying holidays. But, not when it means that immigration is closed until February 15^th and therefore means that I may not receive my visa approval letter on time.

What if Vietnam deports me on arrival?

I applied for the visa anyway. There was a computer error, and my payment didn't go through. I tried calling the 24/7 customer service hotline. Either the phone just kept ringing or when a rep did pick up, their English was mostly incomprehensible. So, I'd hang up and try again. No answer. I emailed. I let it go.

Six hours later, I got the response I needed. My approval letter would be sent by Monday, February 15^th. Just in time to print out and board my international flight. Fingers crossed they pull through for me! (And, I truly hope all the Vietnamese enjoy their New Year holiday.)

- - -

You know how worries can turn into a domino effect? While I worried about getting my visa approval letter on time, I started thinking about the vaccinations I never got. Before I left for California, I was so caught up in making sure I packed enough but not too much. I debated on whether to bring my MacBook Air or buy a cheap netbook in case of theft. How should I get my haircut before I go? Do I pack all three camera lenses or just one? What kind of travel insurance do I purchase?

Now that my trip has partially begun (still in the United States but with just over a week until I fly to Vietnam) the worries began to blow at me in powerful gusts.

What if I get scammed by taxi drivers on my first day in Hanoi?

What if I get lost in the big city?

What if I get really homesick?

What if I break a leg?

*What if I get bit by a monkey in the jungle and need to go to five separate hospitals to get treated?

*What if I get hit by a motorbike and wake up to discover that I've been robbed dry?

*Both true stories I've heard from travelers who went to Southeast Asia. (*GULP*)

It's enough “what ifs” to make me rethink my decision, cut my losses, and stay here in sunny California.

But, that's the thing about fear. If we let all those fearful “what ifs” take control, we won't decide to do much of anything. We'll stay holed up in our comfort zone. I know this for sure, because as often as I venture out of my box, I also long to stay shut up in it. And, there are times that I have chosen to stay right there in that box. Was it the right decision? At the time, maybe it was. But, I know this for sure:

Venturing into the unknown makes for one heck of an adventure.

And, I guess I'm seeking an adventure right now, in my 29^th year. And, while the “what ifs” can certainly be daunting, the “what ifs” can also be full of possibility:

What if I make the most incredible memories?

What if I see all the good in people?

What if I learn a new language?

What if I get bit by a zillion mosquitoes and can connect the dots into the Big Dipper on my thigh?

What if I eat the most incredible food?

What if I find romance?

What if I miss home often because I know how deeply I love my family and friends?

What if I have one heck of an adventure?