Time to Fly

It's nearly time to fly.  Fly to Vietnam.  I've booked my first hostel, I've secured my travel insurance - I am still waiting on my visa approval letter which the company has assured me I will receive today...

Let's hope it will!

Cause, I've bought the ticket.  And, I'm taking the ride!

What If?

Normally, I love me a Sunday morning. It feels oh-so-right to wake up slowly, ease myself out of bed, and stay in my pajamas until lunchtime. While I did stay in my pjs, my Sunday morning was not so enjoyable. I went to apply for my Vietnam tourist visa and discovered that Vietnam is on holiday. Like, the whole country is taking a couple weeks off to celebrate the New Year. Which, ordinarily, I am a huge proponent for celebrations and enjoying holidays. But, not when it means that immigration is closed until February 15^th and therefore means that I may not receive my visa approval letter on time.

What if Vietnam deports me on arrival?

I applied for the visa anyway. There was a computer error, and my payment didn't go through. I tried calling the 24/7 customer service hotline. Either the phone just kept ringing or when a rep did pick up, their English was mostly incomprehensible. So, I'd hang up and try again. No answer. I emailed. I let it go.

Six hours later, I got the response I needed. My approval letter would be sent by Monday, February 15^th. Just in time to print out and board my international flight. Fingers crossed they pull through for me! (And, I truly hope all the Vietnamese enjoy their New Year holiday.)

- - -

You know how worries can turn into a domino effect? While I worried about getting my visa approval letter on time, I started thinking about the vaccinations I never got. Before I left for California, I was so caught up in making sure I packed enough but not too much. I debated on whether to bring my MacBook Air or buy a cheap netbook in case of theft. How should I get my haircut before I go? Do I pack all three camera lenses or just one? What kind of travel insurance do I purchase?

Now that my trip has partially begun (still in the United States but with just over a week until I fly to Vietnam) the worries began to blow at me in powerful gusts.

What if I get scammed by taxi drivers on my first day in Hanoi?

What if I get lost in the big city?

What if I get really homesick?

What if I break a leg?

*What if I get bit by a monkey in the jungle and need to go to five separate hospitals to get treated?

*What if I get hit by a motorbike and wake up to discover that I've been robbed dry?

*Both true stories I've heard from travelers who went to Southeast Asia. (*GULP*)

It's enough “what ifs” to make me rethink my decision, cut my losses, and stay here in sunny California.

But, that's the thing about fear. If we let all those fearful “what ifs” take control, we won't decide to do much of anything. We'll stay holed up in our comfort zone. I know this for sure, because as often as I venture out of my box, I also long to stay shut up in it. And, there are times that I have chosen to stay right there in that box. Was it the right decision? At the time, maybe it was. But, I know this for sure:

Venturing into the unknown makes for one heck of an adventure.

And, I guess I'm seeking an adventure right now, in my 29^th year. And, while the “what ifs” can certainly be daunting, the “what ifs” can also be full of possibility:

What if I make the most incredible memories?

What if I see all the good in people?

What if I learn a new language?

What if I get bit by a zillion mosquitoes and can connect the dots into the Big Dipper on my thigh?

What if I eat the most incredible food?

What if I find romance?

What if I miss home often because I know how deeply I love my family and friends?

What if I have one heck of an adventure?

Wishing for Wavebows

We've had the most beautiful blue skies and sun shiny days since I arrived in California. I can't get enough of being outside and smelling the salty ocean air!

My cousin Alana and I went to the pier in Pacifica on my first day. The waves were GIANT. We strolled along the walkway and checked out the apartments that had nearly collapsed into the water when the cliffs they were built on crumbled. It had made national news!

On day 2, we drove further on down Hwy 1, chit chatting away until a particularly stunning scene stopped us mid-chatter. As we drove around a bend in the coastal road, we came upon four monks, their bright orange robes billowing in the wind as they stood on the cliff edge gazing at the horizon line where blue waters meets blue sky. I shrieked “Pull-over!” as my artist cousin murmured, “Can't pass up photo-opt of complimentary colors.”

Yet, instead of snapping a photo, I introduced myself. The four monks were from northern Thailand and visiting a friend in Santa Barbara. We exchanged hand shakes and more smiles than words. Soon we were off to Half Moon Bay.

After a belated birthday lunch at the cutest little garden cafe (where I got friendly with the chef and caught sneaking extra veggies from the waiter) Alana took me to the local acupuncturist where several of her paintings were on display. Alana creates some of the most stunning paintings I've ever seen (and no, I'm not just saying that because we are related) - Italian vineyards, hillside villages, and coastal scenes with such precise attention to detail and layered color. They are truly spectacular. Her husband, Mike, designs and makes the frames for the paintings which are works of art in and of themselves. Craftsmanship at its finest!

Without Alana's art, I wouldn't have learned about “wavebows.” Some time ago, Alana and Mike were on a hike and Alana captured a photo of moment-al awe. When the wind blows just right and the mist sprays just so and the sun shines from just the perfect angle, wavebows are made. A wavebow is like a rainbow, only it's seen above a wave when the mist and sun rays dance. After capturing this photo during that magical moment, Alana painted that very same scene. And, in doing so, has made me long to see my very own wavebow! Someday, I hoped.

Instead, my delight and awe in Mother Nature was very much satisfied as we watched the setting sun and captured some stellar shots during the “golden hour.”

The very next morning, I woke up and decided to go for a walk along the beach in Pacifica again. After passing a RV park, mobile home neighborhood, and junk car lot (all of which have some of the best ocean views...huh?), I found myself back near the pier.

And then…

The wind blew just right,

The mist sprayed just so,

And the sun shone from just the perfect angle.

And I watched wavebow after wavebow sparkle over the ocean. Some appeared for a few short moments above the waves only 100 feet in front of me. Others I watched in the distance – the rolling wave like a white stallion galloping to shore, it's mane a cascade of color, dripping red, orange, yellow, green and purple.

What a blessing to delight in a morning of wavebows!

Travel Magic

It's funny, all the things you begin to notice when you travel. I become more aware of my surroundings in general because everything is new and exciting! New colors, new sounds, new smells! I notice it all. Except when I'm caught up in conversation with my cousin Alana. Then, neither one of us notices anything, and we miss our exit…but it's all good.

The travel magic becomes more apparent too. Travel magic is what I call the coincidences, the God-winks, the jaw-drop moments that occur when you really notice everything going on around you. Like, here's a for instance: meeting Dan in line at the airport. He was just behind me carrying a sweet, multicolored snowboard case. We got to chatting, as you do, and it turns out he's on the same Frontier flight as me to Denver, CO. This brown haired and bearded chap made the minutes magically disappear as we waited to board our delayed flight. It's not every day you meet a Minnesotan native and start talking about spirituality, God/The Universe, yoga, and ecstatic dance. (Yeah! The guy has his own Youtube channel devoted to ecstatic dance! “Liberation through Movement” - check it out!) And therein begins the travel magic- and the inevitable increase of my Facebook friend's list.

Want further proof of travel magic? The TSA security guy told me he liked the color of my fleece. Yep. As I walked out of the scanner box the big, burly man says to me in a husky, deep voice, “Hey – that's a nice color on you” as he simultaneously waves me through to collect my stuff.

Travel magic – it happens all the time! And, it's good to be reminded of it when traveling doesn't seem so magical. (Like 9 hour airport layovers and upset stomachs on the airplane…)

But, in the end, I made it to San Francisco, CA. Stay tuned for more travel magic!

Like a River Flowing

Waking up to a pure, white landscape, the tree branches blanketed in snow, I have the most beautiful winter scene to remind myself of the home and people I love so much.

I can't complain one iota about being "stuck" in Eau Claire for an extra day. I got extra time with my mom and dad to play cribbage (well, lose at cribbage...) and even cozy snuggles with my mom this morning!

In two weeks, I'll arrive in Vietnam to begin a solo backpacking adventure around Southeast Asia for a few months! And, as I embark on this new journey, I reflect on this beautiful quote by Maya Angelou - a reminder that no matter where you go, be yourself and only yourself.

Birthday Wishes

I know I share this day with everyone on the planet. But, I've shamelessly claimed it. Like, I want to rock this day in my arms and sing it a lullaby. It's special. It's January 21^st.

It's my birthday!

I've celebrated this day for 29 years now. 29 years! Dang. Now, that's something to celebrate :-) The final year of my twenties. Ready or not!

What's a person to do on the morning of her 29^th birthday? Well, when you've got a whopper of a cold, can't breathe out your nose, and sneeze approximately every 2 minutes and 47 seconds you do the only things you can think of to make you feel better.

Make a wish (or 3). Blow out 29 birthday candles. Eat the purple frosted, funfetti cupcake.

Yes, this is the way to do it – I'm starting my 29^th year with dessert first!  And, may all your wishes come true :-)

Thousands of Mornings

Her heart pulsed behind a towering castle wall. Confined on the shore beyond walls of stone, a queen waited, unsure but hopeful that she would one day meet her king.

He stood tall in his ship as it glided through the expansive waters, bringing him nearer. When he dismounted to the solidness of the earth, she watched him draw his sword. Slowly, diligently, he began sawing at the chains, link by link, of the towering door that separated them. The wooden hinges creaked as the door loosened from it's cold, stone frame.

When the chains lay discarded and useless on the ground, the door crashed open and light poured in. The mist from the foaming sea salted the air inside the castle walls. The queen observed him carefully. He stood proud. Strong. Mighty. Certain. He knew, without a shred of doubt that inside those walls was his treasure. He stepped within, to claim what would soon be his.

He stood at a close distance at first. Behind his creamy, opaque eyes, she could feel the heat of fire inside. He spoke of how God had guided him to her and that he didn't know how but he would make her his. Someway, somehow - this was his mission.

Each day he returned, and each day she allowed him nearer. He calmed the fear in her heart and quieted the turbulence in her mind. He soothed her soul with his love, his devotion, his loyalty, his wisdom. His words rang true again and again. “How does he know?” she wondered. “How does he see my soul? How does he read my heart?” He ignited excitement and joy in a vision of a future they would share. He opened his arms, and she surrendered. Their bodies molded, their hearts entwined, their spirits lifted.

He was the one she had called forth. She was the one he had been seeking.

And the walls came crumbling down until all that was left between them was the wind. A rustling wind that whirled and swirled and, once in a while, took their breath away. The rhythm of life, of love, pulsed like a steady, beating drum. Within him, his fire roared. Within her, she yearned for more.

"I want to love you for thousands of mornings," he would whisper to her. And, he promised to give her everything her heart desired.

And she smiled, for she knew her king had come.

Then one day, as they lay in each other's arms, the wind grew stronger, the sky darkened, and lightening struck. Thunder rumbled and the wind whipped with a vengeance they had never before seen. They cried out as she watched the churning waters, and he listened to the ocean rage.

The castle walls came up and the chains relinked. The heart of the queen sought shelter in the storm that she prayed would soon pass.

Yet, unbeknownst to her, a sharp bolt of lightening had pierced her king. A jagged strike straight to his heart. His heart had been left open, unguarded, while he wooed and sought his treasured queen. He remembered feeling this severity of pain only once before. Though the deep gash from long ago had healed, it burst open in an instant. One bolt splicing his heart open wide. She looked on in shock, watching him bleed.

He stumbled back, retreating from her towards the sea, and heaved himself onto his ship that lay rocking in the waves that tumbled towards shore. As he clutched his heart and tried to steady his ragged breath, she reached for him beyond her castle walls and took his hand. She felt wary of the calm that came with the aftermath of the storm's obvious destruction.

"I'm so sorry," she whisper with tears streaming down her face.

"Me too," he replied.

For, in the purity of their love, they had freely given one another a piece of their own protected heart. Hers, kept safe and guarded behind the walls of a castle and his contained within the wooden beams of a sturdy ship. But, in their love, they had chosen to open their hearts completely, knowing full well the risk they were taking. With hearts fully exposed, the storm had ravaged and wounded them both. Though, even in the pain, they knew the risk had been worth it. They had gambled for deep love, even without the certainty of winning.

With love freely shared, they realized in astonishment that a piece of their heart had been given to the other. With a parting promise, they vowed to keep their portion of the other safe and to cherish and protect that special piece which they now held within themselves.

Clasping hands, they prayed. And, they wept. For though the storm had passed, there was no forgiving it's presence and the damage it had done.

“At least, not for now,” he said, his voice wavering.

"This doesn't feel like goodbye," she whispered.

"Maybe then, it's just 'see you later'," he replied.

"Ok,” she sighed, kissing him softly. “Thousands of mornings...later.”

“God bless you,” he said with tears in his eyes.

“Que Dios te bendigo,” she murmured back.

And with those last words, a final blessing, the anchor came up, and she stood, quiet and still, as the mighty ship set sail carrying her king into the setting sun.