How to Heal Your Soul

Hello, my name is Anna. And, I'm a soul healer.

Photo Credit: Quotes on Images

Earlier this month, I challenged you to dream BIG. I asked you to answer some key questions and encouraged you to set 5-7 specific goals for your year ahead. Did you do it? I hope so. If not, it's not too late! Take a moment and THINK. What do you want to accomplish in 2015? It's been said that we often overestimate what we can do in a day, but underestimate what we can do in a year. So, don't you dare underestimate yourself! THINK BIG.

During my DWD experience over two years ago in 2012, I designed my ultimate destiny. In a major nutshell, I left the seminar having written my life's Mission Statement & Purpose, my Primary Question, my top 4 Power Virtues, my Towards and Away Values and Rules, my 4 One Year Goals for 2012, and my Ideal Relationship Vision. Two months later, on a Friday evening in February, I created a visualization of my Ultimate Destiny and artfully crafted a poster to display the fruits of my labor from my DWD experience. I framed and hung this poster in my bedroom as a reminder of the kind of woman I needed to show up as each and every day to make this my reality.

Photo Credit: Anna Lucas

Obviously, just writing a bunch of stuff down and creating a sweet poster doesn't guarantee that your actions will reflect your intentions. For several months, I was on FIRE. I literally felt like someone was holding a torch under my tush, and I flew full speed ahead down the most extraordinary, colorful path. Cool stuff just happened. I met incredible people. I explored. I always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. I took some major risks that put my heart in very vulnerable places. I felt this overwhelming sense of fearlessness.

For about five months.

Then, life happened. Just little things here and there at first, and I felt my momentum start to dwindle. Then life really happened, knocking me down from my high, and my heart hurt like the dickens. I felt confused and a bit broken – and I spent a long time picking up the pieces. My 2012 Vision Board got tucked away in the closet behind coats and dresses and piles of books. Along with putting away my vision board, I hid those feelings of pure excitement, determination, and unhindered joy along with it. I was hurting and trying desperately to bandage the wounds. I didn't really feel like myself. I felt numb and in an emotional fog. I consistently felt sad, lonely, and downright gloomy, especially when I found myself alone in my apartment at night. I sought comfort in food much of the time, which only added shame and guilt to an already aching heart.

Even at the time, I knew I had to change something. But, when your mind is consumed in a gray cloud of the blahs, it's often a challenge to simply muster up the energy to roll out of bed in the morning. Thankfully for me, I let the habitual, robotic something in me take over and go through my morning routine as I was expected to be at work most mornings. And, if there's anything I was good at doing, it was not disappointing others, even if I was disappointing and berating myself nearly every day.

In retrospect, life kind of sucked.

Despite the doom and gloom, however, I was intentional in doing many things to shake these crummy feelings. And yet, the books I read, the emotional exercises I did, the meetings I attended, and the conversations I had seemed to bring up more emotional junk. I had finally, after 27 years, begun to clean out the toxic crap from my past that I always swept under the rug or buried deep in my mental backyard. It's completely normal and instinctual, actually, to try and suppress emotional traumas of childhood and life in general. It's also totally human to tough it out and pretend that we weren't really affected by whatever negative event we experienced or rotten person we encountered. When asked how we are, we say things like, “I'm fine” or “No worries” as we wouldn't dare to burden others with our heart aches and emotional angst.

Yet, last year I learned two very powerful lessons.

[#1] We can't bury the pain. I mean, we can, but sooner or later it's going to fester and mold and get all sorts of smelly until we are forced to either confront it or allow it to poison our emotional state day in and day out. And, truth be told, it's downright scary to willingly look at the stale, crusty shit of our past. Which brings me to lesson number two.

[#2] Look at the shit. Breath it in, touch it, and feel it. Because, as disgusting as it sounds, it's truly necessary to scoop it up and scrub it out in order to let it all go once and for all.

I won't sugarcoat it. This is not an easy process, nor does it usually happen overnight. But please remember, you don't have to it alone. Oh yes, I definitely learned an additional lesson during my own personal clearing process:

[#3] Seek guidance and support. Call a friend or family member that you trust; Join a local meeting or support group at your church; Find a counselor, coach, or leader in your community who can help guide you through the cleaning out process; Associate with people you find inspiring and are living a life and have the kinds of relationships you desire; If you are able, disassociate from those who drain your energy; Read self-help books and write down your insights. If you embrace this, the whole process will be more manageable and much less overwhelming than if you attempt to do it independently.

Trust me on this one. Use one or two of my suggestions or, if you want to do what I did, use them ALL. If you know your heart and soul is overdue for a spring cleaning, roll up your sleeves, grab your mop and bucket, and get to work. And, try not to get discouraged if you notice that things become messier before they begin to sparkle. That's all part of the process too. It's not all unicorns and rainbows, but this is LIFE we are talking about. And, it's a part of the journey.